Man in the mirror

posted Nov 27, 2011, 10:14 PM by Corey Jean Jones

"Man in the mirror" is my favorite song of Michael Jackson's.  "If you wanna make the world a better place.  Take a look at yourself, and the make a change." Sometimes I get glimpses of myself through the eyes of my friends and family. Through a comment or reaction I get a sense of their perception of me. We all seem surprised to realize that our friends see us. That they are listening to us and watching us. But not just them, acquaintances and even strangers are affected by our behaviors. As a yoga teacher, my students are surprised that I watch them closely and know what they are capable of individually.  This seems to be even more effective when it comes to behaviors. My friends help shape who I am just by being who they are. They might introduce me to a new health food or false eyelash adhesive. They might be more into fashion and makeup than I am so I add some of their style to mine. It works both ways and I know that my friends and students get tid-bits from me as well.  The point though is this, I see you. I am watching you and taking you in. I am hearing you AND changing things in my mind based on what you say. My thoughts, feelings, and perceptions are constantly changing and you are influencing them.  You are my man in the mirror.  I am not, however, asking you to change your ways. I am loving you for who and what you are. I might take some of the good and leave the bad...some days vice versa. I am constantly learning how to be a human on this planet with everyone else. I am constantly reassessing and absorbing. Learning how to let go and move on. And you are helping me to do that by reflecting back at me in this shimmering pool of humanity. By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. Confucius

Personal practice

Why do I need a personal practice? Isnt that why I pay for yoga class??

These were questions I asked myself back in the days when going to yoga class was an option. One I didnt take all that regularly. At one point, it stopped being an option. It became just something I did. 

If you let yourself say that you dont feel like going to class, well then, you might not. But you might realize after a while that you always feel like it! So isnt attending an ass-kicking asana class three days a week enough yoga?! I dare say no.

I currently teach ten yoga classes a week and that is not enough. Even though I sound like it right now, Im not a crazy yoga fanatic. When I am teaching I am there to share the experience with other students. I watch them to see what needs to be strengthened or stretch more. I feed off of their energy and I show up because they want me there. We do it together. But that is not my practice and I dont hold poses as long as I'd like or try new poses out that I dont want everyone to see. It is their practice as I have given it to them. So if they practice at home they might discover new strengths and weaknesses. New ways to breath when someone isnt saying inhale-exhale-inhale-exhale.

My yoga class is my family, friends, and my exercise. But I have other family, friends, and ways that I exercise. My students should too. They should want to explore yoga on their own and walk through that door refreshed and with an understanding of what happens in their own bodies. 

This is what my personal practice focused on today. 

The lower abdominal and the pelvic floor. I put the iPod on shuffle and started with sun salutes. Emphasizing the lift in stepping/jumping to the top of the mat. Followed by one minute of boat pose. Then, warrior poses focusing on engaging the pelvic floor. Next, I worked on one of my goals: crow to tripod headstand. This led me to discover that I needed my arms to be a tiny bit wider. I came very close to lifting tripod into crow and twice I lowered crow into tripod (on a pillow). Yay! I am also working on Firefly pose. I moved onto stretches like frog and bow, shoulder openers, then forearm stand (Pincha Mayurasana). At times my breathing was very strong and I timed my resting inhale to be 17 seconds long. That has about doubled from my yoga practice. 

These are the things I explored in myself today. What is inside you?

Yoga Retreat in the Sierra Foothills

The Sierra Foothills in the fall are magical. It is the very picture of fall with majestic trees and colorful leaves. It was the perfect place for my yoga teacher training group to spend the weekend. We stayed at The Yoga Place
in Georgetown, California.

The Yoga Place has two yoga studios, a pilates studio and a walking meditation labyrinth! The land is very well cared for and the owners are warm and extremely welcoming. Our group of feisty gals barged in and made the place our own. The amount of food we had was astounding. It looked like an ancient Greek feast. Fruit, cheese, bread, wine...all of the best stuff. During the day we put ourselves through a vigorous practice and at night we acted like girls at a slumber party. The mountain environment combined with the loving, caring environment we have created for each other. It was the perfect time and place for several of us to teacher for the very first time!
Karen's class was well put together and light-hearted. Beth's class blew me away by focusing on the feet. It was extremely detailed and had a great tone. After seeing those two ladies teach it was hard not to compare myself. When Beth taught her class, a doe came and stood right outside the window. Her presence and energy was THAT amazing.
By Sunday it was my turn to teach. I was terrified. My class was a restorative class influenced by the class I took with Judith Lasater. Everyone was looking forward to restorative after the long weekend and that made me even more nervous. Honestly, I was hyperventilating. But, I followed my notes and really fed off of the great energy of the group. There calm became my calm. When I saw their bleary-eyed blissed out faces at the end I was overwhelmed. I did it! That thing that yoga teachers do to make you feel good! What an experience. I am beyond grateful to have had such an amazing first class.

Shadow Yoga: a workshop

The website shadowyoga.com states, "According to Hatha Yogic anatomy the body is composed of three discrete bodies and five sheaths, (coverings or shadows). The practice of Hatha Yoga has evolved with the purpose of dissolving these shadows." Mark Horner spoke for half an hour about shadow yoga. He described it as a discipline that cleanses the shadows which occlude your true light. Mark said that the body is a container for energy. He also made the point that our body is directly connected to food. The more food you eat, the body grows. If you eat less, the body shrinks. I had not thought about it in such simplified terms.

This is the first time I really made a connection to my body as a temple or vessel. And, the idea that I should tone and take care of my body to reach my more spiritual goals in yoga. I haven't really acknowledged, before now, that I had higher spiritual goals! Nonetheless, the talk that Mark gave was profoundly relevant to where I am on my yogic path. He told us the structure of the class was that we watch him and observe. Then, we do the moves as best we can. He often had us repeat moves. The shadow yoga moves are hard to describe. They were not asanas that a yogi would recognize. They look much more like moves from martial arts. The moves were more inclusive of all the parts of the body and all directions. The feet, ankles, hands, and wrists had more focus. I loved becoming more aware of the entire system of yoga and not just the asanas.

A few points I took away from this experience are:

1. We are on information and stimulation overload. It is time to simplify and get rid of the excess in our lives and bodies.
2. The less connection I have with my vessel and path the easier it is to abuse and ignore it. Yoga helps!
3. A dedication to the body is a dedication to the soul. It is time to allow myself to be good to my self.

This workshop was a very intense experience and at a level that I would not have understood before now. It is true that when the student is ready the teacher will appear. Even if its only for one day.

The power of Right and Perfect

The one thing my mother has always been adamant about is "use your right and perfects"! She has taught me from a very young age, to focus on what is right and perfect coming into my life. It is such a simple tool that it is easy to forget about. It is also easy to doubt the power this tool has. Even as someone who has seen it work many times, I let it fall to the by the wayside. As I mentioned in my blog about emotional release, we can get into a pattern of negativity.
In the last several months, during the economic recession, it has been hard for me to stay positive. At times I would allow myself to fall into depression or wallow in self pity. But usually, after I forced myself to do a yoga practice, I was able to genuinely focus on the positive. Then I would say the magic words, "I give thanks for the right and perfect ___.". Just yesterday I stopped panicking, took a deep breath, and asked for the right and perfect new job. By the next day I had one. Granted, it doesn't always work that fast but I do believe it works!
I encourage you to try out your right and perfects. Pick something specific and ask for it. Say it as many times as you think you need to! Be ready to accept what you asked for into your life.

Emotional Release

On hour twelve, of the sixteen hours of yoga this weekend, I was laying in Savasana. I was trying to keep my mind present. As I focused on being positive, a thought crept into my mind. What the hell am I going to do? Images of living in a tent on some friends' property came to mind. I went to that property a lot growing up. It was also the last place I saw my dad before he died four years ago. I was picturing the cool crystal river water that I played in with my dad. Suddenly, waves of colored light were washing over me. Daddy. The tidal wave of emotion that followed shook me physically. Lying in Savasana I was sobbing uncontrollably. The gates had opened and all my fear, worry, and pain were escaping. My amazing teacher Dennis asked me if I was okay. He told me it was alright. Eventually, I calmed down and my fellow yoginis were very sweet and supportive.

Dennis later talked about the fear that is for survival versus an artificial fear. Though the fear of where am I going to live is a real fear, it doesn't need to govern me. It is easy to get into a pattern of being fearful all the time. Always worrying. What I found this weekend is that I was stripped down. Down to a more true me. I almost feel like bones, muscles, and blood with no skin. Just wrapped in raw emotion. The emotions are always there just under the surface.

I am an emotional person and since I heard about emotional release from yoga, I figured it would happen to me. I hoped it wouldn't, but now it has, and it was a good thing. Now at the end of this amazing weekend, I just have to figure out...how to put my skin back on.

Returning to yoga after summer

Aside from the pinnacle of my summer, the Wanderlust Festival, I did very little yoga! Today marked day two of my return to the Bo Tree's yoga teacher training. I was a little surprised to learn what my body had remembered and my mind had forgotten. My body fell back into the asana practice easily. What I had forgotten were the subtle body cues I was working with in the spring. Things like not locking out my knees and elbows, engaging my core, and building up my arm strength.
I was back to square one when it came time for Pincha Mayurasana (forearm stand). My intent had been to practice plank and dolphin poses to build up my shoulder strength. Of course, during the sumer, I didnt even think about it. I was a little disappointed to still be unable to do it even though three months had past. View this pose here: http://www.yogajournal.com/poses/1711

This led me back to some of the important points in yoga.

1. Being compassionate and patient with your body.
2. Finding time to do a daily practice will never get easier. The time is now!
3. Taking a yoga class can always teach you something.

Though getting going again can feel daunting, a little patience makes all the difference. I found that my willingness to learn and physical strength were right where I left them!