Monday, July 22, 2013

Gnawmaste!

posted Aug 22, 2011, 9:28 PM by Corey Jean Jones   
Here is a little break from the we-are-all-beings-of-light crap you hear in yoga class. Not MY class mind you, but other yoga classes. ;) 

Lets take it back to when I was a little budding yogini and I signed up for my first Yoga Journal Conference. I walk in all wide eyed, half expecting people to be levitating and shit. I had signed up for classes with Rodney Yee because I had seen his videos. Walking into an enormous conference room, I see there are lines of tape on the floor. The lines are the exact size of a yoga mat. And let me tell you, these yoga bitches guard the hell out of their tape borders...shoving there $400 dollar yoga sweater to the very edges of their tape territory. Before the class begins people are doing their best "do you see me?" poses (yes, we ALL see you!). Then (cue the angels singing) Rodney walks in. He starts talking like. a. normal. person. Not the peaceful enlightened Rodney of Gaiam video fame. He tells us about where he grew up and his new wife is there. Then he starts teaching and if you have ever heard this man teach yoga, you know he uses the most abstract cues. Things like press your temple skin back toward your throat and draw your inner navel to the spiral of your left foot. HUH?! So, I have a look on my face that says, "I don't know what the fuck you are saying!!!". And Rodney Yee, THE Rodney Yee, yells at me: "try to grok what I am saying!". Now, I don't know what grok means...and Im really upset.

Needless to say, that experience changed a lot of my preconceived notions about yogis. Yogis, it turns out, are normal people who do yoga! Not necessarily more enlightened or better people or the ones who have it all figured out. Like someone told me recently, "you are just bendy with an attitude". Yes, yes I am. 

I do think nice things in my head about the universe and chakras and stuff. But in the day-to-day Im still me. I enjoy caustic humor and road rage. So you see, I don't pretend to be all guru on the mountain top...and I'm not the only one. 

Namaste bitches!

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